I’m Stephen Nash, dating coach & author of How to Get a Girlfriend. I was featured in Neil Strauss’ book The Game (as “Playboy”) and have been interviewed for every major news outlet (such as The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune & The Atlanta Constitution Journal) and podcast (David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Pickup Podcast etc).
Why do so many people want to talk to me? Because I’ve helped thousands of men turn their dating lives around in order to get a girlfriend. In fact, I truly walk the walk. I’m happily married and have been with my wife for nearly four years now (and counting!).
98% of my material is free and is better than anything you will find on the net. But, don’t take my word for it – take a look for yourself, it’s completely free…
…Get Started Here
Download a Free Sample of my eBook, How to Get a Girlfriend
I’ve created a special “sneak preview” from my eBook and put them in one place for you (50 pages total). All you’ve gotta do is click below to snag your copy.
Or, simply read on…
Below here I’ve outlined the basic 7 steps to getting a girlfriend. It’s pretty intuitive stuff and simple to understand, but it can often be challenging to implement and put into action.
Now, if you’re a guy looking to get better at “pick-up” or “seduction” this is not the site for you (frankly, I’m not even sure how you got here). I urge you to head over to google and type in “how to be a pick-up artist” and take it from there.
If not, I’m confident I can help you and urge you to explore my site and see for yourself.
How to Get a Girlfriend in 7 Steps
I had never been more frightened in my life.
I professed to be an expert on how to get a girlfriend, and yet, I was totally freaking out.
I was about to call the girl of my dreams (literally) and ask her for a date and my palms were sweaty and my hands were shaking.
“I shouldn’t be feeling this way…I mean, I’m Stephen Nash, I’m ‘Playboy’ from ‘The Game’, why am I so scared to call this girl?”
I did call her, and I’ll tell you in a second how that worked out.
But, first let me answer a really important question about fear and dating – it’s NORMAL to be nervous and scared before you call, approach, or otherwise, take a risk with a girl that you REALLY like. OK?
In fact, if you want to learn how to get a girlfriend, you have to learn how to walk through fear and befriend it. Fear is your ally.
Even me, former Master Pick-Up Artist, master in-field approaching instructor, was scared when I called my future girlfriend for the first time. You see, it’s far easier to approach random girls and get their attention, and maybe even get their phone numbers than it is to call that girl that you truly, deeply want in your life.
That, is a whole different ballgame man. I had grown past the dating phase, and wanted a healthy, lasting relationship in my life – I wanted a girlfriend. The road to learning how to get a girlfriend though…not easy.
Lucky for you, I’ve created a little system that has served me well and that I pass on to others too.
It happens in 7 steps, and I’ll outline them for you here.
How to Get a Girlfriend: Step 1 – Get A Life!
Get a life.
No, I mean it. Get a life!
Not any old life, but a REAL one. Build one that comes from your heart, that fills you with passion, that you wake up dying to devour. That’s how I live, and you know what? It’s MASSIVELY attractive to women.
Here’s a little something I’ve observed about guys. They put the cart before the horse. They seek a woman before they have found their true path in life.
Many guys tell me, “Stephen, I’ll get on with my passions after I’ve got a girl in my life” or “I’ve gotta learn how to meet more women before I can go for my dreams man!”.
This is all classically WRONG thinking. The single-most effective way to meet women is to start going for the things you really, truly, deeply want in life – make that your priority. It’s counter-intuitive, yes, but it’s also RIGHT.
If you do, the women ‘problem’ disappears.
Here’s what I usually see – a guy falls into a career, he starts to make money, he gets comfortable, he stops challenging himself, he gets…stuck.
Let’s say this guy meets a cute girl, they go out on a date or two, she gets to see behind the curtain a bit. You know what she sees? You’re BORING.
Yup, that’s right. Most guys are boring. They aren’t going for what they want, their lives are patterned with ruts, they are “going through the motions”.
Their focus is on comfortably getting-by rather than making a real dent in the universe.
Would it surprise you that this is the essence of the problem? Don’t get me started on a tirade about feminism and how men have been marginalized (and have passively sat back and allowed it to happen).
But, the guys who suck with women also suck in life – and that’s why women aren’t attracted to them. Gulp. Chew on that for a sec, OK?
The good news – if you start to go for what you really want out of life, and go for your dreams (and all that jazz), you’ll get better with girls. Women want guys who expand their world, not those who drag them down.
Think about it man – is that you?
This piece is the single most important part to getting a girlfriend – and most guys skim right over it looking for the “the stuff to say to her so that she will like me” section.
How to Get a Girlfriend: Step 2 – Lifestyle Dynamite
Based on this goal, this aim, this passion…you’ve gotta now reorganize and reorchestrate your…
Let’s use an example, shall we?
Let’s say you want to be a painter. This might start with taking a painting class. You start going to class every week, and start making some friends there. These friends and you go out for drinks after class. They invite you over for a birthday party. You invite them out with you and your friends.
Or, maybe you want to get into better shape. This might begin with you joining a gym or taking a martial arts class (a GREAT thing to do IMHO). After a few weeks, you start seeing the same people there and introduce yourself. One day, a few of them invite you out for lunch after class. You join them. They tell you about another great class that they take “on Tuesdays”. You check that out too. Suddenly your life is filling up with cool activities all around your goal of getting into better shape.
Growing your lifestyle in this way is literally like taking a stick of dynamite to the OLD you and rebuilding the NEW one.
It’s a profound change.
Whatever your aim is, you’ll need to start building a set schedule of activity in/around that – and soon. So, if you always stay home, play video games and/or watch TV during the weeks, you’ll have to get OFF the couch and head out there and start DOING things.
Step 2 is to get out into the world and build an authentic lifestyle which is TRUE to your aim, your mission, your passion…
How to Get a Girlfriend: Step 3 – Meet Women NOW
So, now that you’re out of the house in a productive, focused, meaningful way…
NOW, lets meet some women, shall we?
How are you going to do that?
Well, you’ll need to learn some ways to approach them.
You will want to experiment with all kinds of ways of opening a conversation (teaser opener, opinion opener, direct opener…my personal favorite). You will want to try out all of these.
They are fun and easy, and don’t require a lot of thought.
They do require action.
You’ll want to enlist the help of an online dating website (Match, OK Cupid, etc).
Most single women are using an online dating site to meet guys.
You should be on there too. It’s a no brainer. Finally, you may want to enlist a buddy to head out with you.
It’s far easier to meet women with a friend than when you are rolling solo.
(NOTE: If you want to get started learning some ways to meet women, go to my Pick-Up Lines That Work article for some killer examples)
How to Get a Girlfriend: Step 4 – Attract Her
Now that you are talking to more women, what the heck do you say next??
You’ve gotta ATTRACT them.
In short, you have to become more interesting and compelling than whatever it was they were doing before you approached them.
Otherwise, why would they want to keep talking to you?
Let me introduce you to one of my favorite concepts: Social Skills
When I talk about heading out and talking to women – I am not advocating the use of lines, routines and other gimmicks unless you are new to all of this and need some “training wheels” (my name for pick-up lines or routines).
Instead, what I want you to do is to learn social skills.
They are easy to learn, require some practice, but bear fruit for the rest of your life as they can be used in any/all situation.
The social skills you will need to attract a woman are things like: flirting (MOST important), baiting (my specialty), teasing and storytelling.
There are more, but you don’t need them – so don’t waste your time on them, OK?
How to Get a Girlfriend: Step 5 – Connect
How fun – now you’re meeting women, making them laugh, getting that “I’m digging you” look…you’re home free, right?
Not at all man.
There’s one more thing you’ve gotta do to make it secure.
It’s the most important thing to HER, got it?
Feeling connected is THE most important part of a relationship to HER.
For guys, the most important part is that we feel attracted. It’s NOT the same for her.
You have to make a sincere, personal connection with her. This doesn’t mean you have to sit there for hours and prove that you are each other’s soul mates…NOOOOO!
What it simply means is that you need to create a couple of commonalities with her – really simple.
“You like travel? I love travel. Where was the last place you went to?”
“You have a dog? Wow, so do I. Mine was a rescue, where did you get yours?”
“You work downtown? Yeah, so do I. I like it down there, a much saner commute”
“You live on the west side? Cool, so do I. Moved there 5 years ago, you?”
See how this works? It’s EASY to make connections with women.
What helps is when you are out fully living your life.
It’s much harder to connect when all you do is wake up, go to work, go home, eat and go to bed (rinse, wash, dry, repeat, zzzzzzz).
See how it all connects?? Kind of cool isn’t it!
How to Get a Girlfriend: Step 6 – Widen The Net
It’s a natural outgrowth of building a passionate and focused lifestyle and learning social skills.
Go and do things that you really want to do, and just meet the other people who are there doing it with you.
In a way, that’s the short answer to the “how to get a girlfriend” question.
You see, now you are meeting people (WOMEN) who share your interests, you have real things in common with them.
MOST relationships happen out of ones social circle.
RARELY do they happen by a cold approach. In all likelihood your next girlfriend will be introduced to you, or you will meet her at work, or during a night out with friends, or at a class you decide to take…it will happen when you AREN’T looking for her.
Oh, and it will also likely come from this widening net of your social circle.
Your life is either expanding or contracting.
If you follow my outline… BOOM – there she will be, in front of you, being introduced to you, smiling at you, eager to meet you.
How to Get a Girlfriend: Step 7 – Dating For REAL
Now, you got her number, you want to call her, you know she wants you to call her…
Takes me back to the top of this article. You should be AFRAID here.
This should scare you.
You’re living an autonomous, masculine life and you’re about to put it on the line and express your interest in a woman.
Feel that fear in your belly, climbing up your spine, filling your head with BS thoughts?
Do it anyway.
Seriously man – the answer is to do it anyway.
Feel the fear, and call her.
Feel the fear, and kiss her.
Feel the fear, and touch her.
Every step you take with her should be frightening.
If it isn’t, go back to step 1 and start over – you missed something.
This is what dating is like in the real world. It’s a little scary, as it should be.
There are certain strategies and tips that you can and should follow in/around setting up a first date, arranging a second one, moving in for that first kiss, escalating matters to sex, carving out more time to spend together, but the most important part of step 7 (and all the other steps, really) is to: Feel the fear and do it anyway.
I did, and now I’ve been with the same beautiful woman for nearly four years, we are married, have lived together for three years and are planning a family.
Is that what you want?
Or, would you rather continue reading dating websites, learning the next meaningless tactic from the newest guru, spending tons of money on bogus pick-up seminars and the like…and that will lead you…
Right back to this page.
Don’t do it man.
Now’s your chance to leave the endless cycle of ridiculous dating advice and get some tested, practical and common-sense advice on how to get a girlfriend.
I’ve taken these above 7 phases and fleshed them out in an ebook form.
I will tell you now it is under $20 and you can even have it for free for 7 days to be SURE you like what you’ve ordered.
It’s written in plain english, with no BS and straight from the heart. In other words, I’ve been there, frustrated, clueless and following BAD advice.
If you want a girlfriend, one who is RIGHT for you, I urge you to check out this video of me describing the ebook in detail (video):
Thanks for visiting my site man!